I hate cancer

Today I am worried that we will never be free of this.  Meg has had some strange back pain, and her finger is swollen.  Weird things.  could be anything.  could be cancer.  Sheesh, she is only a week off treatment.  A week!  Is this it?  Is this all the "good" time that she gets to be free of cancer and looking forward to a disease-free life?  No matter what it is - I realize that for years ahead, every twinge, every fever, every lump... it will always make me wonder, make me shiver, make my heart leap out of my chest.  How do we do this?  How the hell do we do this?